The Modern Way of Marriage Today
By Susan Steffen-Kraft
Marriages are going down a strange path. I have no clue why and I suppose that through the years there have always been instances of the unusual. Let us push beyond the man and woman, man to man and woman to woman to the bizarre and weird. It seems to be happening more and more. I have a feeling that even those people who marry child brides (and for the record I do not approve of this) would even shake their heads at the idea of marrying a bridge or truck.
Apparently in June 2013 a lady from Australia by the name of Jodi Rose married a 600 year old bridge called The Devil's Bridge. Apparently the bridge is the perfect husband because it is strong and silent. Men take note of that. From all accounts there was no honeymoon. Gee, I wonder why!
Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer fell in love with the Berlin Wall as a child and decided as an adult to marry it. This was in 1979 and when the wall came down she mourned her husband. Well, death comes to all I guess, even a wall.
Erika Eiffel, née LaBrie married the Eiffel Tower in 2007. Apparently she had courted the Tower for three years. Just how does one court an inanimate object. I wonder if her bow Lance that she used in archery was jealous. She had a relationship with her bow before falling for the Eiffel Tower.
Lee Jin-gyu married a dakimakura which is a type of pillow. Taking the pillow to theme parks and restaurants inspired him to marry her in 2008 and inspired me to scratch my head figuratively in puzzlement. When the pillow wears out
what will he do?
Then there is the lady who married a Ferris Wheel named Bruce "I tie you flesh to steel," said the priest who resigned from the Catholic Church after his part in the ceremony. So I am guessing the Catholic Church does not approve of this kind of marriage!
After the priest said that Ms. Ducharme repeated her vow, "I Linda, take you Bruce, in this sacred marriage. I pledge to you my heart, body and my spirit!" Nothing is mentioned as to what the Ferris Wheel aka Bruce said in his vow.
“I love Bruce for who he is. He’s a skydiver, he’s made of fiberglass, he’s made of steel and aluminum. I love his mechanical aspects — I love the smell of the hydraulics and the oil that runs through him,” Ducharme said.
I hope they remain faithful to each other as Ms. Ducharme had had previous relationships with an airplane and a locomotive. She was fired from her job when caught lovingly embracing the locomotive. The company she worked for did not accept romantic relationships like that at work. Hmmmmm!
Lee Jin-gyu married a dakimakura which is a type of pillow. Taking the pillow to theme parks and restaurants inspired him to marry her in 2008 and inspired me to scratch my head figuratively in puzzlement. When the pillow wears out
what will he do?
Then there is the lady who married a Ferris Wheel named Bruce "I tie you flesh to steel," said the priest who resigned from the Catholic Church after his part in the ceremony. So I am guessing the Catholic Church does not approve of this kind of marriage!
After the priest said that Ms. Ducharme repeated her vow, "I Linda, take you Bruce, in this sacred marriage. I pledge to you my heart, body and my spirit!" Nothing is mentioned as to what the Ferris Wheel aka Bruce said in his vow.
“I love Bruce for who he is. He’s a skydiver, he’s made of fiberglass, he’s made of steel and aluminum. I love his mechanical aspects — I love the smell of the hydraulics and the oil that runs through him,” Ducharme said.
I hope they remain faithful to each other as Ms. Ducharme had had previous relationships with an airplane and a locomotive. She was fired from her job when caught lovingly embracing the locomotive. The company she worked for did not accept romantic relationships like that at work. Hmmmmm!
The above examples are nothing compared to the confessions of a lady by the name of Maria Griffin who confessed to having had her "first orgasm" when thinking of the Chrysler Building. However, she then started falling for trucks, especially Ford trucks; "have you driven a Ford lately" or in her case have you married a Ford lately?"
She ended up buying one and then proceeded to marry it on Valentine's Day. They even went on a honeymoon. She is claiming that their "sex life is healthy and good." Say what? How can that be as obviously my imagination is not that good. I don't believe I have read anywhere on how to have sex with a truck. I would add that I bet she does not have to worry about getting pregnant.
She ended up buying one and then proceeded to marry it on Valentine's Day. They even went on a honeymoon. She is claiming that their "sex life is healthy and good." Say what? How can that be as obviously my imagination is not that good. I don't believe I have read anywhere on how to have sex with a truck. I would add that I bet she does not have to worry about getting pregnant.
A Mr. Sevier has sought to marry his porn filled computer. I kid you not. He has claimed he fell in love with said computer and the thought of having sex with anything but this computer was what his desire became. No other objects or people could replace his object of affection sexually. He felt that if gay people could marry then he should have the same rights. Which is "the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object."
Apparently the judge in Florida has tossed Mr. Sevier's motion for now stating that "Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit." The lawsuit being one that was challenging Florida's refusal to recognize gay marriages that are performed legally elsewhere. That was when Mr. Sevier entered the picture to intervene with his "other minority sexual orientation groups" being allowed to marry.
This is what people who fall in love with objects and identify them as a gender, give them a name, and have what they believe is a fulfilling, loving, relationship with these items
Apparently the judge in Florida has tossed Mr. Sevier's motion for now stating that "Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit." The lawsuit being one that was challenging Florida's refusal to recognize gay marriages that are performed legally elsewhere. That was when Mr. Sevier entered the picture to intervene with his "other minority sexual orientation groups" being allowed to marry.
This is what people who fall in love with objects and identify them as a gender, give them a name, and have what they believe is a fulfilling, loving, relationship with these items
These weird marriages have gotten out of hand. But now we will get into the marriages to animals. I knew people loved their pets but marriage?
A young lady in Denmark married her horse Thorgen. The Supreme Court of Denmark was forced to recognize this so now animal to human marriage is lawfully acknowledged. She has pleaded the case that she and Thorgen her husband aka the horse were victims of speciesism, which is similar to racism or sexism forms of prejudice.
Well that's a new one. I have no clue how that honeymoon went but we now move on to the "doggone" love saga. Joseph Guiso married his 5 year old Labrador Honey. He even read vows to the dog and she in turn licked his face which I guess made it a sealed deal. He insists that his love for the dog is not sexual but married the dog so he would not feel guilty living with Honey out of wedlock.
I searched the meaning of out of wedlock at www.thefreedictionary.com just to be sure and it states that Out of Wedlock means that "of biological parents not married to each other; "this child was born illegitimately." Does that mean that he and Honey are having babies so that had to legitimize their relationship? I would have thought maybe "living in sin" more appropriate but no those are the words he used.
A young lady in Denmark married her horse Thorgen. The Supreme Court of Denmark was forced to recognize this so now animal to human marriage is lawfully acknowledged. She has pleaded the case that she and Thorgen her husband aka the horse were victims of speciesism, which is similar to racism or sexism forms of prejudice.
Well that's a new one. I have no clue how that honeymoon went but we now move on to the "doggone" love saga. Joseph Guiso married his 5 year old Labrador Honey. He even read vows to the dog and she in turn licked his face which I guess made it a sealed deal. He insists that his love for the dog is not sexual but married the dog so he would not feel guilty living with Honey out of wedlock.
I searched the meaning of out of wedlock at www.thefreedictionary.com just to be sure and it states that Out of Wedlock means that "of biological parents not married to each other; "this child was born illegitimately." Does that mean that he and Honey are having babies so that had to legitimize their relationship? I would have thought maybe "living in sin" more appropriate but no those are the words he used.
So if two men or two women will be able to legally wed each other and I am not getting into the wrong's or rights of this issue; then what is to stop the other groupings from getting married? From there legalizing marriage to children (which by the way happens in some countries) and animals? We are on a slippery slope as marriage is suppose to be traditional in the sense of a man or woman and produce children.
If it's just a legal arrangement between people who really like each other, then what basis will there be to deny multiple people who want that legal recognition of multiple-partner marriages by the state or for people marrying animals, children, and objects to want equal recognition also. For them, they will want the same fair treatment or shall we say equal treatment as those two men or two women marrying each other. How can we say no! I mean I would but can the government? They are the ones who opened up this can of worms by promoting and in some states recognizing gay marriages.
Now, if you want to have a different word for your relationship then by all means; a legal partnership if you will. But using the word marriage really makes the slide downhill inevitable. The fight to make polygamous marriage legal is led mostly by Christian right amazingly. Mark Henkel a Christian who is non-Mormon (and he is only one example of those who are fighting for this right) has been speaking in favor of accepted polygamy.
And below the most interesting marriage of all. A woman marrying herself. There is nothing new under the sun it is said. If so the world has always been in trouble. However with the media of today and modern advances these things that occur are much more accessible and visible and thus more promoted and discussed then hundreds of years ago.
If it's just a legal arrangement between people who really like each other, then what basis will there be to deny multiple people who want that legal recognition of multiple-partner marriages by the state or for people marrying animals, children, and objects to want equal recognition also. For them, they will want the same fair treatment or shall we say equal treatment as those two men or two women marrying each other. How can we say no! I mean I would but can the government? They are the ones who opened up this can of worms by promoting and in some states recognizing gay marriages.
Now, if you want to have a different word for your relationship then by all means; a legal partnership if you will. But using the word marriage really makes the slide downhill inevitable. The fight to make polygamous marriage legal is led mostly by Christian right amazingly. Mark Henkel a Christian who is non-Mormon (and he is only one example of those who are fighting for this right) has been speaking in favor of accepted polygamy.
And below the most interesting marriage of all. A woman marrying herself. There is nothing new under the sun it is said. If so the world has always been in trouble. However with the media of today and modern advances these things that occur are much more accessible and visible and thus more promoted and discussed then hundreds of years ago.
www.worldnewsdailyreport.com, www.vice.com/read/after/marriage/why/not/pologamy, www.newyorkdailynews.com/news/world/man/marries/dog, www.glamour.com, listverse.com, dailycaller.com2013, www.digitaljournal.com/article/354010, www.independent.co.uk-8947143.html, www.cnet.com, www.browardpalmbeach.com/news/florida-man-says-he-wants
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